Oh, Monster, Come To Bed, With Springs For A Heart

Soul Asylum - Made To Be Broken (1986)

"It is conventional to call 'monster' any blending of dissonant elements. I call 'monster' every original inexhaustible beauty."

- Alfred Jarry, L’Ymagier (1894)

(Note: This, too, is a textual repost with new music, the original music post now being but a memory, at the request of the artist).

A Night Of Passionate Pumpkin Love Trumps Death

Sonny Sharrock - Guitar (1986)

Sonia crawled out of the jack-o-lantern's mouth, gripping the giant carven teeth to gain the leverage she needed. It had been a wonderful adventure overall, she thought, smiling to herself, knocking off bits of hardened wax, seeds the size of her hand and stringing pumpkin guts. Yes, there, the raygun lay just where she'd left it. A minute more and she'd be her proper size again. No problems with buttons too big to push - she'd read all the stories. She pulled the remote control from her pocket but hesitated just a moment too long, looking up to see just what had made the huge winged shadow...

(Note: This is a textual repost with new music, the original music post now being but a memory, at the request of the artist).

It Was A Voice That Spoke In Many Ways

Throwing Muses - Throwing Muses (1986)

"When you have shot and killed a man you have in some measure clarified your attitude toward him. You have given a definite answer to a definite problem. For better or worse you have acted decisively.

In a way, the next move is up to him."

- R. A. Lafferty, "Golden Gate" (1982)

He Should Have, But He Didn't, So It Happened

John Lurie - Stranger Than Paradise & The Resurrection of Albert Ayler (1985)

Eddie picked at the scab and kept picking at the scab, which is never a good idea, nor very sanitary, under the best of conditions. But this scab was larger than the average scab, oh, maybe three feet in length, and ran like a zipper across his torso from his left nipple diagonally over his belly button (an outie, of course) and over to his right thigh. With a final flick, he removed the last of the scar tissue. A moment later, the proud flesh of his ungainly and unsightly wound burst apart due to internal pressure and Eddie died an agonizing and stupid death. The end.

Playing Peek-A-Boo With Far Away Eyes

Nels Cline Trio - Silencer (1992)

For seven billion years the little star had quietly and efficiently (it prided itself on its efficiency) burned its hydrogen and lit up its little corner of the universe. Then, one day, it felt a tickling sensation, an irritation, an unpleasant feeling of being watched. Not sure from where this new feeling originated but not liking it in the least, the little star quietly folded space and time around itself, making it appear to vanish utterly.

Back on Earth, some astronomers and physicists were astounded. And some strongly religious folk were moved to kill themselves (and a few billion non-believers).

Eventually, the star came back out, decided the annoying presence was gone, and resumed its sweet hydrogen burn.

It's Only One Man's Fantasy

Coffee Sergeants - Moonlight Towers (1993)

The President put pen to the last official statement of his elected tenure and turned to the vast bulletproof windows of the newly remodeled Oval Office, the better to appreciate the long line of gallows that stretched across the green White House lawn and disappeared into the distance, to end at the steps of the Capitol Building. Even now the hooded and bewildered members of Congress were shuffling up the rough wooden steps, crying out in anger and fear. Nine black robed figures already swayed in the cold January wind.

But Who's Gonna Be General Grant?

The Feelies - Only Life (1988)

The vast space armada left Mars orbit right on schedule, blasting through the rebel bases in the Asteroid Belt, obliterating all life, whipping around ringed Saturn to the colonies of the Jovian moons on a non-stop flight of total destruction. Though slightly misinformed, the Martians took their Civil War re-enactments very seriously indeed.

It Comes In A Tin And Sits On The Shelf

William S. Burroughs - Uncommon Quotes (1988)

As a little boy, Bertrand never cried. When his father was decapitated by angry postal clerks in the E-Stamp Act Riots of '07, he didn't cry. When his mother sold him to Scottish slavers and condemned him to a life of indentured servitude in the New New Hebrides (formerly the Swiss Alps), he didn't cry. Even when the only woman he ever loved disappeared from his life forever (as the soap opera she starred in was cancelled), he didn't cry. But when the European Liberation Organization (ELO) slaughtered his cruel Scottish masters, freeing Bertrand and the thousands of others like him working in their haggis factories, he cried. He cried for seven weeks straight. His clothes were perpetually damp. His bedding was soaked. His body was wrinkled and moldy from the tears. When asked why he was crying, Betrand could only reply "Who's gonna make the haggis now? Who's gonna make it?"

Somebody Really Needs A Hug...Or A Bigger Stick

The Embarrassment - Heyday ~ 1979-83 (1995)

"After Buddha was dead, his shadow was still shown for centuries in a cave - a tremendous, gruesome shadow. God is dead; but given the way of men, there may still be caves for thousands of years in which his shadow will be shown. - And we - we still have to vanquish his shadow, too."

- Friedrich Nietzsche, The Gay Science (1882)

Another Bad Day At Playschool

Band of Susans - Veil (1993)

No amount of sweet lies, honest promises, unveiled threats could relinquish Gerald from his hold upon the weapon. After five days without sleep, the entire world seemed his enemy. And the colorful buttons he had yet to push were so, so enticing...

Distracted By Shiny Objects, Unwitting Accomplices

Loop - A Gilded Eternity (1990)

The directions were explicit: Stand on one leg (either leg) for three minutes; Rotate slowly to your left until facing a shiny object; Switch legs; Stare without blinking at said shiny object for two minutes; Close eyes; Repeat.

What this had to do with assembling a bicycle, Henry didn't know. But after three hours he hadn't put bolt A together with nut B, though he had enjoyed several wildly hallucinogenic moments of ecstasy, in the time between closing his eyes and hitting the floor.

What The Black Box Would Have Recorded

Butthole Surfers - Double Live (1989)

Without hesitating, Suzette plunged into the icy waters, her golden silk ballgown flaming around her as she plumetted. Her only thought was - wait, what was her only thought? Escape? Death before dishonor? A nice side salad with blue cheese dressing? Halfway to what she know realized was a certain and inescapable demise, she decided to change her only thought, but given her speed and the unfortunate physical restraints of any unpowered falling object, it was too late. Grimly, she tuckered on. The bystanders were highly impressed.

We Owe So Much To The Library Of Skulls

Power Tools - Strange Meeting (1987)

"The ancestors of modern Sleestak were the Altrusians. Their civilization fell approximately 1,000 years earlier. The Sleestak sometimes use the term 'Altrusian' to refer to themselves and sometimes to refer only to these ancestors. Physically, the Altrusians were similar to Sleestak, with the former marked by a shorter stature, an extra finger on each hand, and a golden yellow skin tone. Intellectually they were very different, however. The Altrusians possessed advanced psionic technologies based on light crystals and understood a great deal about the operation of the Land of the Lost. They strove for calm emotionlessness and as a result could be both cooperative and quite callous."

- "Sleestaks, Ancestors of" (Encylopedia of Lost History, Vol. MCMXVII)

A New Primer For A New Generation

Speed the Plough - Mason's Box (1993)

W(ild woven wicker women). P(leasing plastic purple people). Q(uoting queuing questioners). R(iding rampant rhinos rapidly).

Water And Sunlight Tell Us Certain Things About Ourselves

Robyn Hitchcock & the Egyptians - Element of Light (1986)

The little boy walked slowly out onto the porch, morning summer sun just touching the dew on the painted wooden pillars and rails, catching each drop just so, revealing a hidden pattern that the three year-old instantly comprehended and understand. Feeling suddenly older but thankfully not wiser, he spread his strong young arms and with a single flap lifted himself into the warm air, steering his course through the tops of the oaks and elms and pines and trees he'd never know the names of as he headed due west in a perfectly straight and flat line. Eventually, unforgiving to the curvature of the Earth, he would leave the atmosphere forever, heading home for good.

What's Interplanetary War To A Good Punchline?

Green On Red - Here Come The Snakes (1988)
Green On Red - Scapegoats (1991)

The translator paused, unsure of how to precisely convey the Lunar Ambassador's last remark. One dipthong out of place and it would be an insult regarding the Martian King's ancestry and their sexual predilictions (not that it wouldn't have been a true remark, of course) rather than the grand (if grandiloquent) gesture of universal peace and harmony it really was. And, thought the translator - who suffered from an incurably wry and warped sense of humor - it would be much the funnier of the two...

The Paul Lynde Award For Best Comedy Album Goes To...

The Soft Boys - Invisible Hits (1983)

Bats, millions of bats, in thousands of day-glow crazy colors, plaid included, spun themselves nightly, dizzily, into the air from the damp and malodorous cavern mouth directly below Jake's window in the castle's south tower. He would enjoy his nightly rations of gin, tonic and lime - sometimes all at once in a drink he fancied he had invented himself - watching this wonderful show he similarly fancied was put on purely for his own special amusement. Jake was a simple and happy man, right up until the day they came and took him by the hand and led him to the top of the tower, staggeringly drunk as could be, and pushed him over the precipitous edge into the cavern mouth far below. As he fell, seeing the thousands of scattered skulls and still-decaying bodies ahead of him, he finally realized the source of that strange, piercing shriek that nightly signalled the emergence of the beautiful bats.

No Time For Tea, No Time For Two

Eric's Trip - Purple Blue (1996)

Astronomy was such a quiet, pleasant, meditative pastime, reflected Jackie, known to family, friends and foes alike as The Star Queen. To gaze into black infinity, upon the ancient hearts of hydrogen starflames, was to lose one's self in the placid immensity of time, to sink like a stone through a million miles of darkest water, never reaching bottom, weightless and loveless and perfectly alone, alone forever. That's the way Jackie liked it.

Don't Pick It Up, Don't Take It Home, Don't Even Think About It

Jacobites - Jacobites (1984)

No one was more passionate about their collecting than Philip, or so Philip believed. Stamps and coins and beer cans (pre-War, whichever War), worthless 19th century stocks and bonds, antique Egyptian pornography, other people's vacation photos - these and a thousand other obsessive collections were the boon and bane of his existence. One morning, though, Philip found he could no longer find the door to his own home. The night before, bringing in an armload of Victorian doll-diapers he couldn't believe he had been lucky enough to score at a local estate sale that morning, he'd bumped into and knocked over a teetering stack of Pop-Art styled plastic drink coasters. Through the night, the resulting slow cascade of collectables had effectively, permanently sealed Philip inside his three-bedroom suburban ranch with semi-detached garage (he had once hoped to eventually purchase all of the seven others in his cul-de-sac, as both a further collection and further storage). Every window, every door, every inch of wall space was hidden behind literal tons of suddenly worthless and frighteningly dense junk. The more Philip scrambled to find an exit, the more it all shifted and moved and trapped him. Finally, exhausted, Philip lay down on an improvised bed of kim chee cans he'd bought for their unique labels, which if properly arranged on a shelf portrayed the slapstick antics of a Korean cartoon character he'd never learned the correct name of. Staring at the work of a lifetime, he sighed and wished he'd thought seriously upon collecting can openers. But that had seemed such a silly idea at the time.

Eat Your Heart Out, Space Vampires! (Ain't Got Nothin' On Us)

Giant Sand - The Love Songs (1989)
Giant Sand - Swerve (1990)

"The convoluted wording of legalisms grew up around the necessity to hide from ourselves the violence we intend toward each other. Between depriving a man of one hour from his life and depriving him of his life there exists only a difference of degree. You have done violence to him, consumed his energy. Elaborate euphemisms may conceal your intent to kill, but behind any use of power over another the ultimate assumption remains: 'I feed on your energy.'

- Frank Herbert, Dune Messiah (1969)