February 23, 2007

Would A Leopard Be Caught Dead Wearing A Human-Skin Hat?

Plasticland - Let's Play Pollyanna (1990)

Polka dots always look better in the mind's eye than in reality, thought Johnson, wishing he had not used an indelible marker. Or shaved his head. And back. It was going to be a long day.

Some Dare Call It Art!

Black Sun Ensemble - Black Sun Ensemble (1985, Reissued 2000)

Tadpoles by the thousands, by the millions, larger than a man's pinky finger, flowed and overflowed from the toilet bowl onto the tiled bathroom floor. Toilet water and potential frogs swirled with abandon out the door and down the hallway, spilling down the stairs in a living waterfall before exiting by the front door onto the lawn. Mary and Robert watched it all with quiet appreciation from the living room, perched on their prized vintage barstools, enjoying the light of the dying sun that played gently across the watery havoc. It had been a very successful experiment, they concluded, toasting each other silently.

February 22, 2007

Lotto Winner Tells All - Death Conquered!

The Catheads - Hubba (1987)

"Rubbing the Buddha's belly, an elephant's trunk, Lincoln's nose, your neighbor's bald spot, a cat's behind and your Holy Bible - simultaneously - is the only assured way to win the lottery," says Mrs. Norbert Norbert Norbert, nine-times winner of the Irish Sweepstakes, the Illinois Lotto, the Missouri State Fair Five Legged-Race and a guaranteed 'Ticket to Heaven' granted to her by the Rev. Sun Myung Moon. Now deceased, Mrs. Norbert-cubed spoke from the Great Beyond on condition of anonymity.

A Strong Key Return Pops The Planet Over The Net

Damon & Naomi - The Wondrous World of Damon & Naomi (1995)

Geraldine didn't think she would ever recover from the last night's party. Glasses, bottles, puddles, clothing, antlers - everywhere!

February 21, 2007

One Man's Breakfast Is Another Man's Funeral

Bongwater - Double Bummer + Breaking No New Ground (1989)

Strong currents nibbled at the giant's toes as he swam the inland ocean, more a large lake from his perspective, crossing from his gargantuan castle home that rose straight from the sea on a thousand pillars of eroded limestone. He hoped to reach land within the half-hour, curious to know how the world had changed during his several millenia-long nap. Sniffing at the air, he could just taste the scent of those tiny two-legged appetizers he liked so much. At least they were still around, he thought to himself. And it was almost time for brunch...

February 20, 2007

Drinking Beer From Acorn Cups All Day Long - Huzzah!

Bardo Pond - Dose: The Singles (1994-96)

The blue-eyed cat peered curiously from out of the vivid yellow rose bush, white fur sleek in the hot sun. It was fat and content and well-fed and chose to ignore the taunting of the squirrels, who had organized a polka-masquerade in the far corner of the garden. The squirrels were spiteful creatures, the cat knew; they hated polka.

One Eye Closing And Three More Opening

Tar Babies - Death Trip (1992)

Jumping: Slowly, very slowly, as he watched, the sheets of color and distortions began to reassemble themselves into forms the monkey more easily recognized. But with a difference. Each plant, each insect or animal, each object (a new concept he found wonderfully intriguing - differentiation, ascribing unique 'objectness' to all things!) seemed pregnant with wonder, waiting for him. What they awaited he did not know. But he rose to his calloused feet and walked out into the new world.

Possessed By Numerous Possessions At A Psychic Yard Sale

Divine Horsemen - Snake Handler (1987)

The tunnel narrowed around Geoffrey as he pushed his lanky form forward, arms thrust out in front of him to grab at any available handhold. Dust and tiny clouds of silky fur blew past him or caught on his face, in his mouth. Somewhere up ahead there was a source of fresh air, if only he could reach it. His knees bled through the shredded khaki of his trousers and he deeply regretted taking up the white rabbit's invitation.

February 19, 2007

Support Your Local Public Library, Cowboys!

Scraping Foetus Off the Wheel - Nail (1985)

Random words fell through the tinfoil sieve that covered the library, enriching the pale and worthless volumes, encouraging growth and deep, moist discovery. The librarians, some appalled and some overjoyed, ran in circles, scattering pages and covers as they set up wooden buckets to catch the old and useless words that dripped from the shelves.

Building Cities of Dirt And Clods To Revel In

Spacemen 3 - Performance (1988)

Reggie was exhausted. Pulling a plow of stone was hard work, sunup to sundown. His back ached, his thighs trembled, the enormous muscles of his neck chafed under the hard wood and leather yoke. But it was a good kind of tired, he concluded, looking back over the acres of field he had furrowed this day, his dark eyes unblinking as the earth slowly healed itself and all traces of his labor disappeared. Yes, Reggie thought, today was good but tomorrow would be even better.

Look Where We Worship

Crystalized Movements - This Wideness Comes (1990)

"There was no notion on the part of the five young interspatial transbeings that they were being followed. After all, they barely knew where and when and how they were themselves. But soon they became four and then three and then two and it was finally obvious. (They were not very intelligent beings, actually, their frightening multi-limbed phantom appearances making them seem more awesome than they really were.) The final two looked each other in their multifaceted eyes and asked the burning question: "Who?" No answer forthcoming, they linked tentacles and fangs together, back to back to back, and settled down into an ever shrinking ball of fright to wait. Thus was the world begun."

- Arthur Machen (Ed.), Welsh (& Other) Creation Myths (1917).